"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall
Last night I got up at 3 am to feed my cat. So I picked him up, noticed he was purring loudly, and thought in all seriousness:
"Very cat. Much purrs."
…then realized I may or may not spend too much time on this fucking website.
As your husband I feel I should inform you that you said that out loud.
OH MY GOD THAT’S EVEN WORSE
WAIT THERE ARW MARRIED COUPLES ON THIS WEBSITE!?
What do Sams old college friends even think happened to him? I mean he went on a road trip with his brother after his girlfriend died and then like 5 years later he’s a serial shooter on the news that died. twice.
I’m constantly surprised by the fact that other countries don’t have nicknames for absolutely everything: Arvo, Maccas, ute, brissy, chockas, barbie, avos, bikkies, bottle-o, bundy, cab sav, chockie, brekkie, compo, metho, sanga, snag, spag bol, ciggie, footy, garbo, goon, kindie, pash, polly, pokies, rego, servo, sickie, smoko, stubby, tinny, trackies, vee-dub, veggo, u-ey…
Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself.
This is surprisingly motivating.